Michael is deploying. Again.
He returned from Iraq one year ago this month. Like clockwork, that army. My walls are up and I'm trying my best not to let reality seep through the cracks. There are moments of weakness. "The last time" hangs fresh in my memory.
I dread his departure. I'll fight ever fiber not to chase after him as he loads onto that bus. Watching someone you love drive away is such an awful thing. Coming home to an empty bed is even worse.
He returned from Iraq one year ago this month. Like clockwork, that army. My walls are up and I'm trying my best not to let reality seep through the cracks. There are moments of weakness. "The last time" hangs fresh in my memory.
I dread his departure. I'll fight ever fiber not to chase after him as he loads onto that bus. Watching someone you love drive away is such an awful thing. Coming home to an empty bed is even worse.
I'll be busy. I know that. Busy chasing a toddler. Busy building a business. Busy making a home.
And there's our family. Our friends.
But the pain is there. It's inevitable and terrifying and hard.
For now I busy myself with boxes that need filling and a house that needs finding. With one deployment under our belt, I know we'll be ok. It won't be easy, but I guess that's just a part of growing.
13 comments:
Oh no :( This makes me so sad. I'll be right there with ya on this one girl. I'll keep you guys in my prayers for sure.
I'm crying for you, dear. Now that I'm married, I can begin to imagine the pain of watching my husband leave, for such a long time. I don't really know what else to say, except I'm "here" for you, and I'll be praying for all of you. <3
Aw honey, crying tears for your hurt right now. :(
Glad I can be here to help you in whatever way I can.
Love you.
Kayla, I'm so, so sorry. You know you can do it, but that doesn't make it any easier. Hang in there, and don't be afraid to ask for help.
oh, kayla-- i'm all misty eyed over here. know that i'm praying for all three of you. wish i could hug you! <3
Jeeze...I wrote you a huge comment and blogger deleted it :(
Let me try again....
I was a military brat, so I know how hard it is to watch someone you love leave, sometimes for YEARS at a time.
I must thank you, your family, and especially your husband for the service that you all provide for our country. Military spouses are truly some of the strongest people. Take care, Kayla. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Bummer! I thought maybe this was the case because of a hint of some sort you threw out.
You will be fine. You'll have Levi to keep you company and keep you busy. If you ever need anything, do not hesitate to ask. I'm only an email away.
My heart just broke a little for you, friend. But alas, those friends and family members, and that sweet little boy...they will keep you going. I absolutely dread the day Jarrod has to go again...now having a child, it changes things so very much on top of all the reasons we didn't want them to leave before.
Prayers!
Im encouraged by your honesty and strength kayla. i havent have to deal with my boy deploying yet, but it is what I fear the most. I will be praying for strength for the three of you. no matter how hard, God is FAITHFUl.
Praying for you, Michael, and Levi! I can't imagine what it's like to see a love one leave for so long. Praying that this year will go fast, and Michael will stay safe!
Looking forward to the time we'll spend together, and hopefully we'll make a good distraction for you and Levi! ;)
I...Can't...read.... this. I am so sad. My son is leaving again. But we are here for you. We will all be fine.
Oh, friend. I'm sad for you. You know how to make distractions for you and Levi but it still won't be the same. There is nothing I can say to make it better so I won't. I'll just send you as many "stay strong" vibes I can.
I can't even begin to think about what it would feel like to watch my fiance drive away from me and my little man. And I only have one baby!! I truly appreciate your husband's desire to serve our country.
Be strong mama! Best of luck!
<3 Melissa @ knit purl baby
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