Busy

Wow, I am tired... like aching bones tired. I can't believe I'm blogging.

We've been in Wisconsin for three days now and it's been BUSY BUSY BUSY. But so good. 

Levi is not taking well to all this change. He has been clinging to my legs and cries whenever I walk out of a room. It's such unusual behavior for him. I suppose an entire day of traveling + new surroundings + tons of faces could be attributing to his anxiety. 

I took this photo at target last night. (Was it last night? Yes. Seems like forever ago.) I imagine this is how Levi is feeling about life right now. 

He's just looking for one thing to focus on and I guess that thing is me. Every day he gets a little better, thank God!

Tomorrow MY little sister graduates high school. I swear I was just receiving my own diploma. I'm officially old.

Alright. If I don't get to bed soon it will be six am and I'll be even more tired.

Happy weekend, friends.

Farewell

I hate goodbyes.

I've only made half of them tonight and I've got some of the toughest tomorrow morning. Feeling quite sick to my stomach and ready to get this all over with.  I'm bracing myself for the worst kind of heartache... Lord please let it wash over me quickly.

Today we loaded the moving truck. It was pretty emotional. This was my first place alone, and I loved every bit of it. White house, blue shutters, black top driveway good for warming bare feet. It's hard to realize I'm never coming back to it.

I try to keep my mind busy. It prevents me from falling back to that empty place where I know I have to leave. What's that word...denial? Yes. That. 

I picked up my little brother from his farm job this afternoon after grabbing lunch for everyone. I had Levi along in the backseat, and it was awfully quiet.

"So you're really leaving tomorrow." My brother says. Not a question, just a statement. A really heavy statement. He then grabs Levi's feet and whispers "next time I see you, you'll be so big." Aw kid, why don't you just stomp on my heart while you're at it?

I could have cried. I could have wept. But I didn't, and I probably won't until it's all over with. I'm stubborn. 

Then again, saying goodbye to my little brother and everyone else may just bring the waves crashing down without my consent. 

I hate goodbyes.